When I first heard Jared was joining the Marines, I was in shock. My first thought was 'Why would he do that?' I learned it's been something that he's wanted to do since he was a little boy. My shock then turned to fear over what he would be required to do.
During the summers, I worked for my grandpa on the farm. As my younger siblings got older and wanted spending money, they would start helping out. It was hard work preparing the fields, planting, weeding, moving pipes, digging and washing potatoes, harvesting vegetables, etc. As I became older and thought I was wiser, I became a bossy older sister. There were times I didn't believe Jared was moving quick enough or working hard enough. I would get mad and frustrated at him. Over time, I realized that when I got mad at Jared, he would move even slower and work less. Getting mad and yelling at Jared was not the way to make him work harder.
Hearing Jared was going to join the Marines, I immediately knew he would be yelled at a lot in boot camp. As I think of my little brother getting yelled at and pushed to physical exhaustion, I wish I could protect him.
Arriving in Utah, I didn't want to think about Jared leaving. It seemed too weird to think he was finally graduating from high school and leaving several days later for boot camp. Throughout this week I've wondered why I've struggled with him leaving so much.
I hate change and it has been so hard seeing that change happen in my little siblings. Over the past few years, especially since I left for college and been married, I've been in denial that my 2 younger siblings have been growing up. In my mind, they are the exact same as when I first started leaving.
Seeing them grow up into teenagers has been hard. I want to freeze time and make them stay the same but I know they have to grow up and have their own adventures and experiences.
As a senior, I remember being ready to be done with high school and move onto college. When I talked to Jared this wasn't the case. He knew things were never going to be the same, his friends were changing and moving away, life was changing, and there was no stopping time.
Jared looked so grown up and handsome in his cap and gown. I couldn't believe he was actually graduating and neither could he! I loved hearing his name announced and seeing him walk across the front of the stage to receive his diploma.
It was so fun to see him interact with Piper during the week. On Sunday during church, Piper and I sat next to Jared. Church with Piper is becoming hard. It falls during her nap time and she is a grouchy bear and wiggles and squirms the whole time. Several times she would cuddle up to him and lay on his arm. There was a time after cuddling his arm she climbed into his lap and gave him one of her rare opened mouthed kisses on the lips. It completely melted my heart and surprised Jared. He was so sweet with her!
The morning we were getting ready to leave, Jared was running out the door to go to his last Marine training before leaving for boot camp. I knew it was the last time I would see him in awhile. It was probably a good thing our goodbye was super rushed, otherwise I would have been a sobbing mess of tears. Saying goodbye to my family and leaving has always been hard for me.
Even now, just thinking of my baby brother makes me cry. I can't believe the man that he is turning into. My biggest fear is that he'll come back completely changed form the innocent, sweet Jared I know. I am so proud of him and pray he survives boot camp. I love you Jared!!!
1 comment:
I love this post. I'm finally to the point that I think he is ok. Almost one week down, 12 more to go ;)
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